Two good friends were in the gym lifting weights. Their names were Carl and Matthew. As they were rotating sets, they both saw a beautiful girl, Johanna, running on the treadmill. As fate would have it the two guys and the girl both left the gym at the same time. Pleasantries were exchanged and as they parted ways all three had smiles on their faces. During the next week the two guys saw the girl again and again. Feelings started to form for the girl from both guys. At this moment the two guys had a conversation about who would ask this girl out. They both wanted each other to go for it, so they did nothing. Matthew told Carl he had to go to California for a couple of days so not to do anything while he was gone. Matthew also said they would figure out who would ask the girl out after his trip. Later that same day the girl came to talk to Carl and asked him out. Carl said he would like that; the girl smiled and left the gym. The two days Matthew was gone Carl and Johanna spent every minute they could together. On the third day Carl and Johanna were walking through the university campus holding hands. Matthew saw them walking around holding hands and got irritated. Matthew confronted Carl and asked him how he could have done this to him while he was gone. Matthew told Carl their friendship was over and walked away. Matthew felt betrayed by his best friend. Carl felt like a traitor.
The main problem involves betrayal.
What does Carl need to do to seek forgiveness from Matthew?
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I think there are many ways Carl can approach this problem.
ReplyDeleteFor an example, Carl may can write a letter to explain the situation. I believe a letter works great especially when the other party has no capacity to be listening to your story.
ALternatively, Carl may want to wait for a few days for Matthew to cool down before confronting him to talk about it. In dealing with this matter, sincerety is definitely an element that Carl must have. I always believe that "where there is a will, there is a way". Such a will issues in sincerety which I know is capable of softening the hardest heart. To say this is definitely not a cliche, it comes from an experience that I have had.
In addition, the last thing that Carl should do is to lose his temper back at Matthew, holding on to the reasoning that Matthew is being unreasonable to jump at conclusions without giving ear to his explanations. Carl was at fault to reassure Matthew that he will not take any actions while Matthew is away, yet not keeping to His words. Thererafter, I believe, Carl would need to practise self-realization and empathy, to realize how he was wrong and how his actions had hurt Matthew.
Anna Jovita
Hi Anh,
ReplyDeleteThis is quite a complicated issue which involve a relationship between guy and girl. In my opinion, it would be very difficult to save their friendship. However,I would still want to suggest something which could probably work.
First, I think Carl should give some time to Matthew to let him cool down. It's hard to explain to a person which is on anger.
After giving some time, Carl can write him an explanation letter or email to avoid an embarrassed situation when they are face to face.
In addition, Carl could also ask the girl to help to explain the real situation to Matthew. Since Matthew likes the girl, he could probably listen to her.
That's all from me.
See Hon
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI'll have to say, this is a very delicate situation
While Carl and Matthew did indeed made a promise to so-called "compete fairly", Matthew's behaviour was quite uncalled for. Such matters as love does not function within the boundaries of predetermined rules.
Anyway, Carl should let Matthew cool off his head first. At this point, everything that Carl said would be met with hostilities by Matthew, unless Matthew has good self-management skills to realize his rashness. If Carl was to constantly try to apologize, it would only reinforce Matthew's perception that Carl was entirely guilty. However, Carl shouldn't wait too long to apologize either. A face-to-face meeting should follow suit.